Rosemary (Rosmarinus officinalis)

Description:

Rosemary is an erect, woody (stop giggling) evergreen shrub with highly aromatic needle-like leaves. The small fragrant flowers range from white to blue on the color spectrum and bloom around late spring in the northern hemisphere. However, some varieties are known to bloom as late as November when grown in southern regions.

There’s an old myth among old timey Victorian era ladies that if you slip a sprig of rosemary into your crush’s pocket he’ll totally fall in love with you and lavish you with affection. Now, I’m not a history major, nor do I give a shit about Downton Abbey; but if movies have taught me anything it’s that Victorian era England was one of, if not THE most pompous place on earth. Being “lavished with affection” during this shitty time period/region probably means that homeboy lightly touched your wrist after begging you to let him for like, three years. That, or he murdered your original suitor in a duel without asking you at all. So yeah, I guess the spectrum was pretty extreme now that I think about it. Here’s a tip, ladies (or however you’d like to be addressed): most men are incredibly simple and incredibly stupid. If you like one of us just say so. We’ll be flattered one way or another and chances are you’ll probably end up getting lucky. But if you go around sticking sprigs of perennials in our pockets, we’ll just get confused; and lord knows the world of dating doesn’t need any more confusion. 

Rosemary is like, one of the most common cooking herbs out there. Everyone loves rosemary! And for damn good reason too. The leaves are rich in alpha pinene which, as I’m sure you could piece together from the name, gives it that rich, savory, piney aroma. Rosemary is an herb that’s really hard to miss, that is unless you’re like my boy Donny G-string who blew out his eye sight (along with his hearing) by getting hit in the eyes with laser beams too many times at desert raves (See Nettles, Urtica dioica ). However, Donny’s sense of taste and smell is out of this world due to sensory compensation, so I guess he’d be able to identify rosemary pretty damn quick.

Anyways, like I said, rosemary is most commonly used in cooking. Just a little bit of rosemary will add a fucking delicious aroma to meat, soups, sauces and cheese. You ever have those rosemary Triscuits? Bomb as fuck.

Growing habits:

In Latin, the genus name Rosmarinus literally means “dew of the sea”; and, being native to the western Mediterranean, rosemary grows very well and very easily in most coastal climates. This evergreen bastard is so common throughout coastal California and the pacific northwest that people from these regions who actually spend money on it are deemed “complete idiots” by people such as Chad Thorogood. Alright, maybe that’s a little harsh. Though it is hard to grow from seed, it’s pretty easy to buy little rosemary plants at gardening centers and farmer’s markets. This plant is a little susceptible to root-rot so over watering should be avoided, and make sure to use unglazed pots so that the soil can dry easier.   

Therapeutic uses: Antiseptic, Diuretic, cognitive function, muscle/joint pain, bronchitis, circulation

Moderate doses of rosemary can aid digestion, strengthen the immune system and reduce blood pressure. The herb has many anti-septic properties and can be used in many forms as a naturopathic household cleaner and disinfectant. Research shows that rosemary extracts can kill bacteria, fight skin inflammation and combat dandruff and even promote healthy hair growth.

There is some data that suggests that when used in aroma therapy, rosemary essential oil can increase memory and mental alertness. Being a stimulating nervine, rosemary is known to reduce anxiety while enhancing mental cognition when ingested or inhaled and also acts as a mild anti-depressant.

Chad’s Personal Recipes: Rosemary Infused Olive Oil

If I haven’t beat it into your brains enough already, here it is again: ROSEMARY IS MOST COMMONLY USED IN COOKING!!! So, here’s a nice simple way to infuse it into olive oil so that you can still get some of the medicinal benefits while adding a nice savory flavor to whatever you’re using it for.

Ingredients: 4-6 medium sprigs of dried rosemary, one 15 fld oz. bottle of olive oil.

Put the rosemary in the bottle and keep it in the dark for about a week.

Seriously that’s it, you don’t even need to strain it or anything. It’s kinda hard to fuck this up and you can use it on basically anything, so go nuts! That is unless you’re pregnant, in that case DO NOT GO NUTS.

Precautions:

Pregnant women should avoid large/medicinal doses of Rosemary. Avoid ingesting large amounts of the essential oil