Quarantine Epiphany #1 March 28th, 2020
There are two types of people in this world: Jerry Maguirs and Drillbit Taylors. Now, are you gonna be homeless on the beach and hang out with a bunch of children or are you gonna SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!
Keep your balls to yourself, Coach: Why I never got into sports February 21st, 2020 Quarantine Epiphany #1 March 28th, 2020
Now, don’t get me wrong, I have grown to have a great deal of respect for sports over the years, especially those of the contact variety (go Hawks), but as a child? Hell no. First off, I was a TV kid, which means I was much more excited about animated sitcoms born from the human imagination than I EVER could be about two dozen pubescent twig boys in shorts kicking a ball across a field. I’m not judging anyone, but the later is not really my thing. Second of all, I hated school, absolutely hated it. It wasn’t just that it kept me away from my precious, precious television, nor did it have to do with the lull in my grades (which, at age 10 would perk back up with the addition of prescription Amphetamines, but that’s another story). What it was, was the lack of freedom. You wake up around 8, choke down your cereal and swill back your coffee (I started drinking straight espresso around age 8, the Amphetamines were definitely an upgrade) and head into a building where you spend the next 8 hours of your life preforming tasks for adults who are ramming you with information while simultaneously trying to shield you from the harsh realities of the world. You didn’t even get paid. So yeah, I wasn’t exactly “super down” with volunteering to stay an extra 3 hours at the goddamn place once that bell rang. No, I did not think I needed to spend all that time running, jumping and potentially kicking things so that the authorities (adults) could relive their glory days of… well, running, jumping and potentially kicking things.
Being a student who, by principle, strived for Cs, I think I made the right decision in avoiding the child competitions. There would be plenty of competition once the other boys caught up with me and started noticing girls (I would NOT succeed in talking to said girls until much later). Looking back on it all, I’m glad that I rejected extracurricular activities. Not only did it give me more time to veg out in front of the tube, it also gave me more time to draw, dig holes and generally lose myself in the galaxies of my own imagination. All this helped me to develop the skill of escaping reality which has proven to be far more useful in these modern times than kicking a fucking ball ever could be. No, the only sports I need is the album “Sports” by Huey Lewis and the News, and the fourth song on that is called “I Want a New Drug” and to me that is more relatable than anything offered by the NFL.
First real blog post: February 17th, 2020
And the struggle against technology continues. I’ve always had a bit of a Luddite nature and my relationship with our new cybernetic society is complicated at best. Gone are the days of the tape-deck, gone are the days of the Ipod nano and gone are the days our jumbled, confusing Myspace pages. We now live in an age where nearly all of our personal information is easily accessible to entities that we would rather not think about. Are we truly free on this vast plain of the World Wide Web? Are we we still truly human in the spawning pool that is social media? This I do not know. Hell, I’m so out of touch with it all that for the longest time I thought “talking a selfie” was just another term for jerking off.
Intro to Blog…ish… Kinda thing
Alright, I don’t know how this computer internety kind of shit is supposed to work. I mean, for godsake, I make all my comics by hand and edit them with Microsoft paint. You have no idea how goddamn frustrated I am with putting this website together. Well, that’s my 2 cents for the day, enjoy the site!